Let me be honest with you. I feel resistance against this human life on earth. Don’t get me wrong, I love and celebrate it, I’m fascinated by it and see its magic, too. Yet I also despise it, I’m repelled by its horrors. I know, pain is part of this journey, no mud no lotus, no shit no shine. I accept and embrace this today more than I ever did, and I’m committed to play my part, here.
Still, in surrendering to the fact that ‘this is it’ and in taking action to serve and create, I realise it’s also powerful and relieving to make space for that resistance. The parts that won’t accept the pain, heaviness, violence inside and around because they know another way is possible.
I have cried many tears about it. I grieved and longed for this pure realm of light and love ‘where we come from’. I rejoiced when I or others could bring heaven to earth, with gentle presence, with music, writings.
These days, however, something else is waking up. Fire! The past weeks, I have felt a lot of on-and-off resistance, anger, frustration, restlessness. Grrr. Fire that shows me when I’m pleasing or holding back, when something is unfair or not righteous. Fire that transforms. It’s such a powerful energy and I’m only beginning to tap into it.
Clearly, it’s time for me to kindle these flames and embody myself even more fully, unapologetically, maturely. Bringing this onto the path of the heart, too. I’m a little nervous, but above all curious and looking forward to this journey.